21/12/06
Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Matthew 21:21

javine, faith.


|jav| 1:21 AM|

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15/12/06
the art of seduction

nothing holds me more tighly in its embrace than a perfectly constructed, well thought out piece of literature. words that allude to multiple layers of meaning, painting vivid hues and shades and breathing life onto paper. it tugs at your heart, demands your full attention to sit up as your eyes hungrily lap up the poignant scenes, the subtlety of emotions. finally, an awe and amazement settles. someone else has found all the precious words to put across a single profound, ineffable moment you have indeed experienced before, but were too confounded by its intensity to make any sense of it.

go on, deluge me with words till im drunk in your lingering whisper.
pablo neruda is love.


|jav| 10:09 PM|

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13/12/06
pieces of puzzles
and wishes on eyelashes fade

do you remember the time when you still believed in crossing your fingers, making a wish on a fallen eyelash and not stepping on cracks on the pavement? it all seems like a lifetime away, im numbed and detached from that memory; feels like looking at another person's childhood film.

my mind wanders when im tired. exhaustion hits, im bobbing under lulling waves of calm unconsciousness. teetering on the line that separates sleep and being awake.

or is there a line?

i read a story about a boy who stumbled into deep sleep and slept for 10 years. it had felt like being trapped in a whale's stomach. wonder what he dreamt about.

i know that's true
cos im feeling my way through the dark

went late night food shopping just now. stared down the row of cereal just as a christmas carol was playing over the loudspeakers. i ached a little, christmas is here again.
wanted so badly to rush back home, for it to rain.

how do i show all the love
i have inside my heart

and i used to talk
with honest conviction
of how i predicted my world
i'm gonna leave it to star gazers
tell me what your telescope says


|jav| 12:23 PM|

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11/12/06
i shared laughter with a stranger

i was on my way back nearing the traffic lights when this little boy stood between stranger and i. the little person stood on his tiptoes, hands on the railing that was on the two sides of the path, earnestly took a breath and spat. his spit flew over accompanied with a sort of balloon deflating sound. stranger and i saw him, shared an incredulous look and a guffaw.

thank you :)


|jav| 9:54 PM|

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10/12/06
i'm sorry for the times when words lose me [or have i them?] and i cant help but hesitate before answering. for the times when the idea of communication seems altogether enigmatic and incomprehensible to me, when too much inevitably becomes too little when sounded out loud.

i miss the sound of gushing river water. accompanying it, the stillness of night which brings a comfortable sort of silence that gently envelopes, probes and challenges you to recall and reflect. crisp cold night air that brings everyone to snuggle into their identical windbreakers. our conversations while waiting to bathe from the white pail with its sliver little bucket filled with icy water.

'in here we make way for the insects, not the other way round back home.' we tentatively made way for the many moths and other indistinguishable bugs that littered the wooden floor boards.

morning arrives; breakfast with the view of the river and the mountains. air was still cold, we made smokey puffs with our hot breaths. sleepy conversations and then more demands for food from the boys.

the long orange dirt road with occasional piles of turd. cheery high-pitched 'saibaidees', furious waving of tiny tiny hands and childish smiles. language barrier isnt an obstacle to human connection, since there are so many other gestures to convey friendship and consequently, love.


|jav| 9:04 PM|

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