19/08/06
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

derailed.
these days feel like fragments of a dream. i tried, but somehow
the smiles dont feel like my own,
and my voice feels too loud,
actions almost too mechanical.

nothing stirred.
is time moving too fast for me
leaving me behind, disoriented, only accompanied by confusion and frustration
or am i moving too fast, bored of the monotony,
the languid monochrome one-dimensional perception?

catch up, im no stroller. but i dont like to be alone either.

a dream within a dream.
i dreamt i was waiting for someone to come, only ive forgotten who.
im distant, speak louder i cant hear you
because i dont want to.
stop robbing my hope,
everytime you do bits of me shrivel up and die away slowly

plastic frozen words
i wish my heart was out on a platter
so you could do it all at once.
stop- im too harsh, too harsh. too disappointed. too bitter. too hungry for approval and acceptance.

i crave for genuine people the way prisoners crave freedom.
do they? boundaries, lines, keep out potential hurt,
but they also trap you in.
together with your insecurities and fears.


oh simple thing, where have you gone?



|jav| 12:04 AM|

+++

05/08/06
my favourite smell in the world has got to be the smell of...
.. babies!

whiff of baby powder, milk, and in this part of the world, just like everyone else, sweat.
i think i might have dreamt of the smell once, waking up feeling thoroughly blissful and at peace with the world.



|jav| 10:36 PM|

+++