13/03/06
ever felt that everything you've been working hard for, the things that you've been holding together could very suddenly and terrifyingly slip beyond your reach? that the world constructed by you, with all your goals, ambitions, responsibilites and whatever strength and persistence left could spin out of control?

i dont want to go back there. i've been there and i dont want to live again with the knowledge that i could do better, manage my time better, be a better and stronger person after falling short of my expectations.

c'mon java you can do it.


|jav| 11:21 AM|

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07/03/06
let me dream:

one day, i will pack up my belongings, bid a fond goodbye to all my loved ones and leave. leave this place for good. for other foreign lands that still have breathing space for me to think, to linger on thoughts and emotions, and to enjoy the nuances in life. to feel, really. cos we're all getting sucked into the monotony of living, i stress, 'living', that we forget this numbed state of being alive isnt quite enough.

i crave for solitude. i want to stand alone in the silence of old mountains, and indulge in half-thoughts that were hurriedly stashed away.


|jav| 1:06 AM|

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