17/09/05
i dont wanna be -gavin degraw

I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from

(chorus)
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice?
I can't be the only one who's learned

(chorus)

Can I have everyone's attention please
If you're not like this and that
You're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody

(chorus)

love this song, one of those that you cant get it out of your head.


|jav| 10:44 AM|

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10/09/05
been searching randomly on anything i can think of, and here are some interesting facts i found on wikipedia

butter:

In the Middle ages fragile articles were transported using butter as we use styrofoam today. They were inserted into warm liquid butter which solidified as it cooled down and so protected the fragile goods. At the destination, the butter was again liquefied and poured off.

The English word "butterfly" has its origins in the medieval superstition witches transform into butterflies in order to steal farmers' cream or butter.

Some of the commonest archaeological finds in Ireland are barrels of ancient butter, buried in the bogs. The Norsemen, the Finns, the Icelanders, and the Scots had done the same: they flavored butter heavily with garlic, knuckled it into a wooden firkin, and buried it for years in the bogs‑for so long that people were known to plant trees to mark the butter's burial site.

peanut butter:

Peanut butter makes a superior mouse trap bait compared to meat or cheese. Not only do mice prefer it to cheese, but its sticky texture reduces the mouse's ability to steal the bait and not get caught.

As of September 2004, the most expensive peanut butter on the market is a $532 limited item which you can mail-order from the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) of the U.S. This peanut butter (SRM 2387) is a set of three 6 oz (170 g) jars which will expire on December 31, 2009.
This piece of reference material has been analyzed with state-of-the-art measurement methods to provide values for the amount of fatty acids, 18 individual amino acids (protein), vitamins, minerals, dietary fiber, other nutrients and mold-produced carcinogenic aflatoxins. Food manufacturers can use it to validate production and quality control procedures as well as ensure accurate labeling of product content. It can also be used to evaluate allergen test kits.

just realised i've been online for the past 5+ hrs.
ciao.


|jav| 9:11 PM|

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argh.
the last 30 min has been the most excruciating 30 min i've lived thus far.
my good ol' godma and godbrother just popped over at my place without warning. [the unspoken rule has been either 'call before you arrive to check if the people whose place you're going to are at home' or 'call to inform you're coming'. anything else classifies as 'ambush'.] both of my parents are out, sis is out, that leaves my grandma and i. crisis.

i was dozing off on the sofa when hey hey, look who's here. panicked, cos i have absolutely no idea what to do when it comes to entertaining guests. [they really ought to have a course on this in sch. like what kind of suitable topics to talk about, how to ensure your guests are comfortable.. the list goes on.] grandma and i took turns going to the kitchen, suddenly anxious about the clothes hanging outside since it's raining, leaving both of them cold out in the living room. got the drinks when my eye caught sight of the [drum roll...] remote control! have to tell you this, but in case you havent figured it out, that is the next most brilliant invention in the 20th century. the winner of course, is the tv itself.

switched on the tv and sat throught 30 min of bad taiwanese show about this lesbian finding out the actual truth and relevations about her partner through the help of tv crew and their spying gadgets. [aha. which happens to be so fascinating that our eyes were practically glued to the tv. have i mentioned i hate taiwanese shows?] with tiny slivers of conversation between godma and i. raining rather heavily, they were waiting out the rain. awkward silence with the tv strategically blaring, i trying so hard not to laugh out loud at the absurdity of the entire situation, grandma's embarrassing attention to the windows, occasional indescribable but definitely not admiring stares thrown at me from kelvin. [ok, so i dont look stunning at home. im wearing this incredibly huge shirt i got from tioman and pe shorts. hair all up in a bun.]

i suppose i have to add on some family background with this. the adults are in charge of the talking and chatter and family bonding at home. we kids simply sit around, staring at each other. for both sis and my case, stay locked in our rooms, doing our own stuff. [my grandmother lives with us, so the clan visits us.] we're just not close. [hmm. why? i was dabbling with the idea of taking the initiative sometime to get closer.]

there you have it. and half the time i was wondering what on earth we'll be doing without the aforementioned tv.


|jav| 3:30 PM|

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09/09/05
question: is it ever possible to want someone to talk to badly yet still have that inexplicable urge to run away to live in solitude at the same time?
answer: yes.

question: is it possible to know someone for a long time and yet find out that you have absolutely nothing in common?
answer: definitely.

question: is it ever possible to meet someone who listens to your thoughts, not mere meaningless chatter?
answer: will there ever be one?


|jav| 1:00 AM|

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