01/07/05
tonight's concert was a huge revelation for me.
i didnt know that i was missing something until i met up with clarice and the two of us shot of our heads off just talking and talking.

i miss talking. i miss talking for hrs on the phone wih a person that can actually continue to be interesting after 30 min. in fact, the phone has become strictly for business after coming into rg.

sad i know.

and the fact is that i just realise what i was missing without knowing it by coming face to face with what i had missed. confused?

im not saying that the relationship i have with platoonmates is strained. in actual fact, i love them more than anything else i can think of at this point of time and their wellbeing concerns me greatly.

it's just that. well, i figured it's the wholesome thing. like eating carrots are good for you, but eating only carrots means you lose out on other nutrients.

darns. i dont even know what im trying to say. see? got brainwashed yrs ago and here i am trying to do some recollection.

try again: i miss getting downright downright personal with pple. i miss the nice feeling you got after sharing some deep dark secret with a friend. i miss being looked right in the eye and know that the person truly knows you inside out, and a lot of other things that you dont even know about yourself. i miss the mindless but, anyhow, interesting and engaging rubbish other girls talk about.

it's just that sometimes [i say sometimes]it gets unbearably lonely that a hole seems to have form somewhere. the paralysing feeling of being alone envelopes you and throws in a wave of despair.instinctly yet desperately,you try to find someone you could talk to, even if it's just for a moment, to reassure yourself that you are loved and not forgotten.

i remember someone once told me that at the end of the day when it's dark and lonely, it's just you, alone with all your thoughts and feelings and emotions. it is indeed true, but that wouldnt stop pple from looking for happiness to fill up the empty loneliness, would it?


|jav| 1:30 AM|

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