29/11/04
hey bloggie
in the middle of trying to put together the write up for asethetics prog [with muddy],check mail ,reading on ways to tell if someone is lying and listening to norah jones.and feeling stoned among all these.dont ask me how.
found my new allergy:the smell of frying fish.
gosh it smells horrible.had me sneezing for the next 3 hrs or so.
2 hrs later:
meeting muddy tmr.finally got everything ironed out.
ive been reading a lot.in fact,a weensy too much.quite scared actually, should av's predicament come true.av thinks that if someone asks me what ive done during holidays,all i'll be talking about are the books.
oh well.shackle me next to a shelf in a library;the idea sounds delicious.
OUT.
|jav| 9:38 PM|
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28/11/04
it's raining outside and im patiently waiting for the sun.:D
had lotsa fun cooking at muddy's yesterday for asethetics prog.tiring tho,since it was after trg.many thanks to lulu,shawna and lemin for coming with us and being our guests:D lasagna was a flop,pasta didnt seem cooked,but the garlic bread was a huge sucess:D fruit salad and barley was delicious too.
many funny moments as well.read on and have a good laugh:D
1)muddy forgot to wash all the fruits before cutting them[kinda predictable.cos meat doesnt need washing and muddy only eats meat.],told us[we freaked out,then swore not to tell the rest] and then proceed to wash the already chopped up fruits.according to math,she's making things for difficult for herself since she's got more surface area to wash now :D
2)van struggling to cut the onions [i swore not to touch that stuff after traumatic experience during asethetics lesson.literally had tears running down my face],yelped for help and me rushing over to look,and then almost fainted when i saw about 2/3 of the onion was left after she cut one end of the side.i did a simple equation :"van,if you just cut 1/3 of the onion at one side,and then another 1/3 off another side,all we'll left is 1/3 of the whole onion." her reply: "no what....you dont eat the ends anyway.nvm,we can do with lesser onions"
3)the white sauce for lasagna was quite an accident as well.as muddy din have a weighing scale,all of us scratched our heads for the measurement using desert spoons.apparently we've got it wrong since that white thingie became milk soup and had me running with spoons of more flour and butter until muddy's maid put in on the stove[yes.we ditched the oven.] finally,passable thick-ish white sauce.
lesson no. one of cooking [and we reckon the most important] : if it looks wrong,stop and take it out.[from the microwave oven or stove]
4)the veg,meat and meat sauce for lasagna turned out the biggest success of the afternoon tho we made a minor boo-boo.suppose to cook the chicken and veg first but we added in the sauce first.nvm,it was fun stirring everything up and praying that everything gets cooked in the sauce.end result?a huge cauldron of pasta sauce,veg and meat.muddy:"this really looks delicious.." me:"yah,since about 70% of the stuff here came from a bottle from the supermarket.." *laughs from the kitchen*
the garlic bread was quite fun.since i was in charge of it,and we didnt have a freaking electric mixer,i sat on the kitchen floor with a whisk and did it manually.[they should make prisoners do this.]what more can i say?great work out.tho the butter didnt turn to cream[which i think was the supposed result in the actual recipe],it passed,on the baguette with chopped garlic and parsley.second batch of bread was quite a disaster since the garlic butter melted and the bread looked joined.tasted delicious tho:D
verdict for the day:
the food was delicious,cooking made fun and enjoyable with good-humoured platoonmates and great guests.i was honoured the chef of the day:D [mwahahahahahaha]muddy's kitchen is severly under-stocked as i attempted to cut a carrot with a tiny fruit knife[pure and painful nightmare] since the only other decent knife is used to cut onions.muddy had cut the fruits in a metal tray.[chopping board used to cut something else]
shopping trip:
van and i stupidly grabbed the butter and cheese first so when muddy came to join us,we hurriedly wheeled to the diary products section and exchanged 'fresher' butter and cheese with the ones in the trolley.
eat my first unpaid potato chips in a supermarket.van and i were so hungry,we took a bottle from the shelf,ripped off the seal and ate.laughed ourselves silly as we thought of emptying the contents and then dumped the bottle away.or put the cap back and then exchange for another bottle on the way to cashier.
on the way to muddy's house,she asked when did we meet ealier.we told her that both of us were late. [i think only platoonmates will understand this bit:D]
van:i was late for 1/2 hr
mud:i bet you [meaning me] waited for her
jav: naah,i was late too
mud:walau..hahahaha..if i was there,i would have waited 1/2 hr for java and then 45 min for van.cos i'll come 15 min earlier.
van + moi:muddy,this is the system which works on us.if the politically correct time to meet is 4,give allowance of 15 min or so.
mud:walau...*more laughs*
i think im a pretty lucky person after all.ive friends whom i can automaticlly gel and warm up to, despite not seeing them for weeks.these are the pple who have been thru so much with me,part of all these wonderful experiences.to be honest,if ive forgotten everything else about rgs,the one thing which would lodged stubbornly in my memory is the times being with platoonmates X)
|jav| 4:00 PM|
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25/11/04
i am quite sure that im marginally above rigor mortis.can barely touch my toes.
hmm..rigor mortis.a word introduced to me by an exclassmate in pri sch.he had used it in his composition and i remember mrs choy had to check it out in her dictionary.pri sch days..
okok.my mind is drifting.
waiting for lunch time.dad has bribed me into buying lunch for grandma so he and mum could go out.
sun is finally out.dying to go out.2 more hrs.
|jav| 10:30 AM|
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24/11/04
made a mistake earlier on..we're not in finals and i just got a call from ning that we're 3rd.
|jav| 11:34 AM|
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22/11/04
HELP!
im in agony.my knees are kiling me.im smelling like a old granny with the 'scent' of weird oilment thingie recommended by mum.which lasted a good 2 seconds.help.must be the cold wet weather.ask granny java when rain is coming cos her [skinny] knees can tell you.
had my first life range shoot today.was so scared but chia sat near ning and i and talked abt shooting,while we were waiting.[like what's new.everything abt ncc is waiting.van and carmen were in the previous detail]actually,the shots are not that loud.when you're shooting,what actually affects you is the recoil.the smell of gunpowder,very much alike the smell of sparkles..
the whole experience was quite fun,starting from me reaching the mrt station really early and hiding behind a newspaper,the four of us talking and relieving stress in sir's father-in-law's car,figuring how the yellow gross earplugs work,long long waiting,finally shooting while waiting even more,sir driving us the causeway point and had brunch at mos burger w us,to ning,van and i window shopping and i letting those two crazy women irritating the hell out of me.[right ning?u and ur dumb 'nokia'.went nuts after shooting larhs.]
yay..ning and i were so worried abt blowing out heads of,another another episode of bloody ears like ssg liting and of course,screwing up.
which i did.haish.my shots are too low.darn.the sir helping us out,was pretty nice,kept reminding me to shoot higher.van said the rifle is a bit cocked up.[she's the firer before moi.]but thank god we're in finals:D
hmm..what more can i say?recoils from rifle,the field force thing which is given out the rounds are shot[felt it when ning had i/a and reshoot.],smell of gunpowder burning,occasional bursts of flame when rounds hit target,remaining part of rounds flying all over,barrels of rifle feeling hot,disgusting helmets which compressed our heads[all of us were complaining of headaches after shooting],earplugs which muffled the shots and it felt as if i was underwater.too bad we din get to do it as a platoon.
arhhh.knees.ouch.
ps.laments on the issue of eyelashes.how come guys get the better pick[eg.longer] in the pool of eyelases gene.and it's not like they need it.pfft.
muddy:thanks for ur sweet email,i really really appreciate it:P haha,ironically,i dont have a tagboard cos i dont want to know pple's reactions to my entries (*
|jav| 10:59 PM|
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20/11/04
arghhh.ouch.ive tried lying on my side,face down,on my back,massaging my tummy,walking around,sitting crosslegged,sitting up straight.nothing works.
grr.
that is the
only downside of being female.
hais,since noi mentioned that i write 'thinking' stuff here on my blog,shall go for the lighthearted-less-serious mood.
went to ning's hse today and hung out with noi and her.the two of them were supposed to be doing rs but i guess not much was done:D lazed arnd,painted our nails black [the ashlee look?!? ning finally dug out the black varnish.we'd bought it for halloween in part a yr]..girly stuff.gosh i miss doing girly stuff..hehs.
yups i think it's quite confirmed that ning and i will be taking part as next yr.noi is on the line between a and b.[eh guys,even tho i sounded sure here,we haven had any serious discussion yet so yah.no worries.]haha..talked about what we would be doing on the 28th trg.rest of our pltmates will be with their parts and what will we be doing?
me:lets just stroll in at 11 and tell the rest we'd breakfast
sher:nono,lets all have i/cs for pt..pretending to be a part"permission to carry on 2sg.." changes face in sgt tone "do this..."
ning:oh yah and we can do c&c..
all:burst out laughing**
had a fun day with these crazy pple lahs.
ouch.
Where I can run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Instead of making me better
You keep making me ill
You keep making me ill
-just like a pill,pink
|jav| 10:11 PM|
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19/11/04
dear bloggie,
i was watching tv andden the thought suddenly popped into my head.i dont have anything.i dont have anything which measures my self-worth,which reminds me that im not the worst-est,lousiest person on earth.pple arnd me have some kind of leadership title,people,social circle,things which they enjoy doing immersely,things that keep them busy and happy[even tho they like complaining abt it.i mean,just take those things away from them and they'll scream 'life is so dammit boring'.],some sort of special skill.and in a subconcious kind of way,these things keep them secure and warm and confident about themselves.but i dont.i just realise i dont.
i feel like bursting into tears now.
and no,i dont feel like shit only after knowing that im not going to be a udi.ive been feeling that feeling a long time before already.
i have nothing.
i know im suppose to continue that im still finding my way around,in search of my niche,my place,my purpose on earth.it is becoming like a chant for me bloggie.it's not working and i have a strange sneaking suspicion that if i dont find it soon i'll give up searching.
im scared.
im scared of the knowledge that yes im the lousiest,shittest,most incapable person on earth.
|jav| 11:14 AM|
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17/11/04
keep having all these thoughts flying into my head but i just dont write them down.
i was on the bus to library when i saw a banner outside a church,'why on earth am i here?'i know im taking these words out of context,but i decided then and there that that is the ultimate question of life.
why on earth am i here?
i guess everyone ponders about life.the purpose,their very purpose,of living.a little cliched,but i supppose if u ask that very question everyday of urself,u'll discover the true meaning of ur existence on earth.the very essence of being a name written in the great black[these books are always black.] book of lives and deaths under the catagory 'living'.
k im rambling.as usual.
so as every single soul living on life,i seek to find the answer to the question.i hope im here to do something great,for pple arnd me and for myself.i hope im here to learn more,to experience more and find love.i hope im here for good reasons,not merely the 'accident' of higher beings or whoever responsible for creating me.i hope im here to touch other pple's lives,to still be able to find hope in desperation.
oh yah.and world peace.
|jav| 11:30 PM|
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03/11/04
love never fails to amaze me..
just watched 'notting hill':beautiful movie,suitable for rainy days
talking about rain.boy oh boy,the last time i felt warmth from the sun was saturday.[see?i
counted.think it's written somewhere that u're not suppose to count the days when you feel sun in s'pore.it just doesnt sound correct.] ok, it's me whining about the weather again;i can't help it.
people at paddle culture is sure taking their time replying,will call them up tmr.
stuck here in this mindless,humourless routine of waking up in the morning,briefly wondering about the things im supposed to do for the rest of the day when the thought,'hey you really dont have anything to do',creeps into my head.make a face and try to pretend i havent woke up.wake up,11+ in the morning,eat breakfast then mope around in the house.watch lots of tv.then time magically flies by and i go back to bed.
this is bad.
is this how im going to spent the rest of my hols?i mean,technically,holidays haven began yet.
list of stuff i hope to do ->my last frantic attempt at salvaging the pathetic situation in which i find myself clinging onto:
-kayaking
-vague idea of a photo journal
-work out [specifically stamina and abs]
-learn some sort of european language
-brush up on chi [that includes reading.sure pumps up my adrenaline level.*S]
-go through math [yes.sec3 math.]
-write properly with upper caps
-Hang out with friends [Now,that's really really vague.Pathetic me.] Note:Shopping is getting a wee bit boring.I catch myself wishing I'm in a park,or in any open space,when shopping.
-Catch up on reading
-Cooking with Avonne?
-Movie marathon at somebody's house?
-Rob a guitar so I could practise
-Nah,save and look for an old one [I meant the guitar.]
-Compose stuff:maybe a song [That is,if I can find that guitar] or poems..
-[try]To be happy
-Make full use of the Internet to learn new stuff
-Brush up on vocabulary [realised how many 'stuff's I've used?]
-Work on New Year resolutions
-Find my focus for next year,for my time spent on earth thereafter.Find that purpose of living.
Damn,just find that bloody focus so i wouldn't feel like the peg on a broken clothesline.[Odd expression.But apt enough i suppose.Either you get it or you don't.]
|jav| 1:10 AM|
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